Giving Up
by SiriuslyGeorgia
Summary: James and Lily have played the same game for years. He asks her out, she says no, neither of them are happy. Both know it needs to stop, and giving up is obviously the only option.


James Potter was so close to giving up.

He thought of all those times she'd mercilessly knocked him down when he'd asked her out; she didn't think it hurt him, she thought that he was too arrogant for the words to wound him in the slightest, when, in fact each rejection cut away at him until he wasn't sure he could do it anymore.

He'd never be able to get over Lily Evans completely, of course, but he could stop hoping that one day, she'd accept his offers and get on with his life without constantly thinking of her.

She was perfect.

Well, no, she wasn't perfect, but that was the point. He'd given up trying to explain to his friends why he liked her, and he'd had enough of Sirius claiming 'It's because of her rack!' But, simply, he was so drawn to Lily Evans because she was so _nice_. To everyone except James, of course, but he was, unfortunately, a special case. She was genuine and smart and her smile lit up a room. Although she could be extremely hot-tempered and she used to be ridiculously forgiving towards certain Slytherin slimeballs, he couldn't look away when she was in the vicinity. The testosterone fuelled part of his body loved that rack, though.

In his mind, James went over the different ways he'd attempted to coax her into a yes. He'd tried acting completely casual, throwing a 'Go out with me, Evans?' into a conversation and he'd tried formality, complete with a rose as he'd said 'Lily Evans, would you do the honour of accompanying me to Hogsmeade this weekend?' That was the worst, he said as he remembered the crushed red blob she'd made out of the rose. Once he was so desperate he tried jumping out at her, attempting to shock her in to saying yes, all to no avail.

_So,_ he decided one morning, _one last time and then I'm out. For good._

* * *

James didn't like her, not really, thought Lily. The only reason he continually asked her out was because she was the only one who'd ever said no to him – he wanted what he couldn't have. To him, she would just be another conquest. Maybe even his greatest conquest.

He obviously didn't believe in love like she did. She couldn't even explain what she believed love was – something that you feel towards someone which is greater than any other feeling in the universe, but there were different types of love which you felt towards different people.

Every time he'd said he 'loved' her, he just meant he liked how she looked and the fact she was seemingly unaffected by his charm.

What annoyed her most was that she wasn't. She wasn't unaffected by his charm. She was completely and undeniably horribly affected by his charm. Every day, she felt herself falling deeper for him. Lily noticed every one of James' genuine smiles (not the smirks he usually wore), every note of his infectious laughs that lit up his whole face, every unruly strand of hair that stuck up at the back of his head...

It wasn't his physical aspects that she was drawn to (although that certainly helped), it was the way that, since entering seventh year, he had helped out with Head duties as much as he could (patrols were even _fun_ with James as her partner), helped Lily with her Transfiguration without as much as a taunt about her lacking abilities in the subject and stopped hexing first years. He hadn't stopped hexing Slytherins though, Lily noted, but she let this slide as all of the Slytherins he had hexed this year were budding Death Eaters – the only people with whom Lily had no sympathy.

In a moment of carelessness, Lily had almost said yes the last time James asked her out when he'd presented her with a rose and asked her to Hogsmeade, but then she remembered he didn't actually like her and forced out a no. She'd even taken the rose and thrown it on the floor - a symbol of what he was doing to her heart. As she stomped away from James, Lily swore to herself that the next time he made a fool of her by asking her out, she'd have to let her feelings for him go and simply move on.

Lily Evans was close to giving up, too.

* * *

For the fifth time, James steeled himself. Lily sat across from him, her hair partially hiding her face as she frowned at the Prefect schedules on the table between them. She looked most beautiful like this, he thought, her bottom lip held between her teeth in concentration. How he wished…

Just one last time, he reminded himself, but not yet.

Looking up at James, Lily muttered, "This won't work."

"What?"

"The schedules," Lily said slowly. "We can't have Hufflepuffs working with Slytherins, Daniel and Susanne broke up so they can't patrol together, and Mulciber's still in the hospital wing."

James smirked, rather fond memories brimming to the surface. "Mulciber had it coming to him, talking about his plans to join You-Know-Who right next to me and Sirius."

"James! You're Head Boy!" Lily scolded and lowered her head in seeming disappointment, but James swore he could see a smile before her mouth was obscured.

James reached out and turned the scribbled-on parchment so it was facing him. He surveyed it thoughtfully, made a few amendments here and there with his quill, and presented it to Lily. "There, it's sorted. You're being too rigid with the normal pairs; sometimes you've got to shake it up and it fits perfectly."

* * *

Appreciatively, Lily took the parchment and glanced over it. "Perfect, nice one putting Remus with Susanne – oh." Lily saw who she was paired with and her face fell momentarily, but she quickly schooled her features into something less disappointed.

James leaned forwards on his elbows. "What's up?"

Lily blinked. "What? Nothing."

James raised his eyebrows but said nothing.

"You've put me with Daniel," Lily shrugged. Not with him.

"Do you not like him?" James asked.

Lily took a deep breath. "No, I like Daniel just fine… I have to go; I'm tutoring a first year in Charms." She began to clear up her things, but James grabbed her hand.

"That's not for an hour, Lily."

She eyed him suspiciously. How did he know her schedule?

Reluctantly, she sat back down. "I need to prepare."

"Excuses, excuses," James brushed her off. She would have argued, but he was right. "Care to explain?"

Lily thought about running away, but a perfect opportunity to confront James had arisen. If she didn't do it now, she would never let him know how she felt.

"We always patrol together." Lily said, beginning gently.

Lily noticed James' confused expression and the way his eyes flickered between her and the parchment, but he just gestured for her to continue.

Lily sighed. "You drive me crazy, James."

Immediately, James eyes bore into hers.

"And I know you don't feel the same, but –"

"Lily, stop."

"No, James, I'm sick of you playing with me like you always do. Maybe you're right to patrol with Susanne."

James laughed loudly. Madam Pince, the only other person in earshot, sent a glare over to the two Head Students.

Sighing, Lily put her head in her hands, regretting ever saying anything.

"You, Lily, drive me insane. I'm not playing you – I'm trying to get you to go out with me because I think you're amazing."

Lily lifted her head. "You might just be saying that," she said dubiously.

James groaned, and then smiled. He dug in his bag and produced a mirror. Lily watched, confused, as he lay the reflective square on the table. "Sirius Black."

After James said his best friend's name, the reflection of the ceiling was replaced by the aforementioned wizard's face.

"Finally," Sirius voice came through the mirror. He wasn't looking at the mirror and, from what Lily could see, wore a shifty expression. "I took the blame for Mulciber and you repay me by buggering off with the love of your life _again_."

"Is he in detention?" Lily asked James, not mentioning, but not forgetting, the last comment of Sirius'.

"Oh is that Lily?" Sirius glanced down at the mirror. "Shit, sorry, mate, shouldn't have said that."

"It's fine, actually it's great. Care to tell her more of how I really do like her and I'm not playing?" James looked at Lily as if to say 'listen carefully'.

"Oh, god, don't get me started. That boy wants you so much I've considered permanently transfiguring Peter into you just so James can have you. Not that Peter would want to be around when he's in bed and –" Cutting off Sirius' talk, James hastily shoved the mirror back in his bag.

Clearing his throat, James said, "So, do you believe me?"

Honestly, Lily had no idea; her mind was swimming. "Maybe." James seemed content with that, for now, so Lily began packing up her things. "I really have to go now."

This time, he let her go. "Hey, Evans?" James called when she was a few paces away. As she turned around, she noticed he was wearing his usual, self-assured smirk. She realised she didn't hate it as much anymore. "Will you go out with me?"

Smiling, she shook her head more at his nerve than as an answer. "Maybe."

* * *

Maybe giving up wasn't an option for James Potter and Lily Evans.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I was going to put the first Lily and James bit up on its own, but I thought it so obviously led to something else that I had to write more.**


End file.
